☂ 04

[outgrew_cosplay]

Oh come the fuck on, I'm on a ship with Deathstroke the freaking Terminator, and we're all supposed to be here for redemption? Are you friggin' kidding me? I used a hammer to smash up some jewelry stores, he blew up a whole fucking city!

How the hell is this freaking fair?

Comments

[subtlescience]

How clever. Positively no one has attempted that yet.

[outgrew_cosplay]

Did anyone try it as a joke?

[subtlescience]

It might as well begin with "knock, knock".

[outgrew_cosplay]

You're killing my sense of originality. Careful, my self-worth might be next. We're all delicate little flowers here, except for the ones who blow up cities.

[subtlescience]

You tragic little butterfly, crushed by the wheel.

Libby Widmore is a counselor. Talk to her before you decide to start carving obscenities in your arms with a butter knife.

[outgrew_cosplay]

I can get a butter knife, but no one'll put me on the repair team so I can fix up the dump I sleep in?

Oh, cruel, cruel barge. That's not right.

[subtlescience]

Generally, your accommodations are arranged according to your personal tastes; each person here awakens to familiar surroundings.

You can understand why we'd find your request highly suspect.

...Incidentally, I'm not entirely certain you can have a butter knife.

[outgrew_cosplay]

They're familiar surroundings. From when I had no money, and couldn't afford any better. It's not like I'm trying to be secretive about this crap.

Way to get my hopes up. Maybe I'll go cry to the therapist about how mean people can be.

[subtlescience]

Have you attempted asking your warden for an upgrade to your room?

[outgrew_cosplay]

Don't have one yet.

...But what, the Admiral just snaps his fingers and bam, it's done?

[subtlescience]

If he's in the mood, that's generally how things work.

[outgrew_cosplay]

Uh-huh. And I just trust his taste?

Cause I've seen the common rooms. Not that great.

[subtlescience]

I'm starting to think you just really want a hammer.

[outgrew_cosplay]

You know, since you're such a sweetheart, I'm gonna go ahead and defy all those safety things they teach you as a kid and say hey, want to look at my room? I want a hammer and a screwdriver and some God damn wood that isn't rotten.

[subtlescience]

It sounds like a health hazard. Either it's not true, in which case I don't need to see it, or it is true, in which case orange spotted wallpaper and electric blue shag carpeting really ought to be a step up.

[outgrew_cosplay]

...Except on my eyes, maybe.